Going home. Feeling nervous.

[themodernnomad]

For those of you who don't know me here, I'm Pat, and I've been away from home vagabonding in South America for about two and a half years now. I'm 21, and am absolutely ingrained in the road lifestyle by now. Leaving the US was the best decision I ever made. I think I can say with certianty that every day I wake up, I feel just a little bit happier than I was the day before. The adventures and challenges of the road give me feelings of great joy. Addictive feelings - but in a good way.

A few months ago my Dad made an offer to me: Come home for Christmas. He would take care of the plane ticket, a gift to me from him. Stay for a month. Fly back to Brazil.

At first I didn't want to accept it. I've always had this wierd paranoia in the back of my head that says if I go home some tragic event will befall me, and I will be unable to continue my adventures. Or maybe my Dad will tie me up in the garage and not let me out until I agree to stay home; I'm pretty sure he's still stronger than me.

But then I realized I would accept it. I love my family very very much. I miss them...a lot. I see things every day that remind me of them - even though how could you see things that remind you of your kid sister in the middle of the jungle?

I miss my grandparents, who are so old and sending me emails every day telling me how much they are looking foreward to seeing me. I miss my brother, constantly playing the piano in the background like a demented Motzart on crack. I miss my dog Hank, who is a big sappy goof-ball and who runs like a retarted gazelle.

I even miss backwoods East Texas. The smell of the loblolly pines, the muddy ponds filled with catfish and water moccosins, the dirt roads, and even the rednecks. I want crappy Lone Star Beer. I want to watch my neighbour run down hogs with his pack of mangy dogs, while he spits tobacco and says, "Yep, that un'll make a good steak." I want to shoot trees with bird shot with my friend Joe. I want to ride the 4-wheeler through freezing muck on Christmas Day and come home caked in filth, frozen solid and grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat.

I miss it all. I [i:784ff94432]want[/i:784ff94432] to go home.

My flight leaves the day after tomorrow. It took me a good month and a half to hitch it here to Belém all the way from Uruguay. I made it in time - barely. I'm sleeping in the plaza, having found a nice spot where nobody bothers me too much, and that's out of the torrental Amazonian rain. I've spent all my busking money on Christmas presents, which feels very uplifting because I can picture the looks on my family's face when I come bearing gifts, since they are well aware of the fact that I often miss meals for want of money. They deserve them.

Anyhow, the point is, despite the fact that I am looking foreward to heading home very much, I still feel nervous. And...well, I have sort of a feeling of impending doom. What if there's a problem with my visa? What if they don't let me come back to South America, the land I've learned to love so much more than my birthplace? The wonderful, exciting, beautiful place where, despite the new and exciting things I see and learn every day, still feels more to me like home than East Texas?

Everybody on here seems nervous about leaving home. I'm just nervous about [i:784ff94432]going[/i:784ff94432] home.




Any thoughts, friends?

I'm spending the night in the airport tomorrow night, sure to find WiFi. I would like to hear some encouragement and thoughts from kindrid spirits.




-MN

[i:784ff94432]edit: grammar[/i:784ff94432]

[Sawman]

MN: I believe you should go home. You are young, but you have experienced a lot in the past 2 1/2 years. You are 21, not 31. It would be good to see your family for a little while before you go someplace else. I am 51 and don't have a family (for various reasons), so I am riding a horse of a different color.

If your dad tries to tie you up and keep you in the garage, then be sure to put a razor in your shoe just in case you have to cut yourself free, crawl out the garage window, hitchhike down the road and hijack a bus heading for El Salvador and then hijack a military transport into Brazil.

Just a thought. You have a lot of stories published here on Digihitch. You should copy and paste all of your stories together, give it a catchy title and submit your manuscript to someplace like [i:e29a547a9d]PublishAmerica[/i:e29a547a9d] in Frederick, Maryland. Most people don't hitchhike, so some people might like to read your tales of hitchhiking in South America; they would be living vicariously through you.

Have a great trip back home and say hello to your family.

[Sawman]

MN: So what if you are not able to go back to South America? You can still explore the States or go to Europe or hitchhike Mexico. If you run into a brick wall, then this was meant to be. Just go in another direction. Be flexible.

[Succat]

[quote:fb5c9c393e]
"And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

~ T.S. Eliot (from [i:fb5c9c393e]Little Gidding[/i:fb5c9c393e])

[/quote:fb5c9c393e]

Greetings MN . . .

I understand that feeling of nervousness about [i:fb5c9c393e]going[/i:fb5c9c393e] home, and also those fears which you've so accurately expressed. Interesting stuff, huh?

Here are three practical pointers, things you may expect and can be mindful of. In no particular order:

(1) You might experience "culture shock" (in all likelihood you will) and many people respond to this condition by simply withdrawing into themselves. Remain aware of how you relate and interact with your family; extra effort might be required to give generously of yourself. Remember, they haven't changed — you have.

(2) Monitor the behaviour of your body's digestive system. Your diet on the road will have been very different to that at home, especially given it's the festive season and rich foods may be in abundance. You could expect to get constipated, and/or develop allergic type reactions.

(3) As travellers we develop and build up an efficient immune system which, in practical terms, means we are carriers for many bugs. Don't be surprised if people at home develop strange, niggly little illnesses with flu-like symptoms. There's probably little you can do to prevent this, other than take care with your personal hygiene.

Travel well, my friend, and I will take this opportunity to wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas!



Succat

[bart]

last year i was in your situation. what i've learned is to be cautious and aware, because a duality could occur. at home, nothing will be changed, while you have evolved during your travels. do not believe that you have changed. (it will create a gab between you and your friends)

a potential situation is that you are confronted with yourself.
most likely is the pattern of your past still there, and in the beginning you will try to reject it, because of the idea of change. something your social environment did not, subconciously they will force you back into your old habits. they have no affinity with your travels, so they will be looking for shared experiences or things where they can identify themself with. in my case, when i am at home, my relationships with friends and family primarly exist out of our shared past. this creates an inner duality, between what is, and what should be. at home you cannot profile yourself any longer as the hitchhiker or the wanderer, because of lack of context. while it is just tempting to do so, because it's a caracter that is always new and not stuck to a past. a luxury you do not have at home.

to avoid this duality, is to adapt. which happens to be one of the hithchikers most developed ability. how difficult can it be to adapt to something you know by heart? enjoy the comfort of being surrounded by your beloved ones. do not forget, family and friends have no bond with Modern Nomad, but have one with you...


bart

[Eripson]

It'll be good, man. I just came back to the US. I felt similiarly. I wanted to go home to see everyone but was anxious as to how it would be. And I did it; I went back. Now, I'm taking advantage of my return to the US to travel around the northern part of America which is just as lovely as the southern half. I sometimes miss South America, but it was time to leave. People have treated me well since I have been back, hitching is good, and I don't regret my decision.

Whenever you get back hit me up and perhaps we can meet up. I may be driving a woman's truck to Mexico in January so i will have to pass through Texas. Just let me know.

Good luck.

[kabuki_mono]

Hey buddy!

I think the best advice and encouragement I can give you is this;
Go home, embrace your people and let them embrace you. Enjoy your time there with your loved ones. Just don't get too attached to 'modern day commodities' I think you might know where I'm coming from. The hardest thing I find from seeing family/friends/etc after being alone/on the road, etc for a while, is that emotional attachment that makes you question whether you're doing the right thing - Which we [i:4651d60445]obviously[/i:4651d60445] are!! What would we do without her?! The road embraces us as much as we embrace her!

Enjoy your time man! - See you further along on the road!

Km

[themodernnomad]

Thanks for all the replies guys, the trip home was a welcome break. I saw all my family (even family I wasn't expecting to see), and my Dad did not tie me up in the garage.

If anything, going home for a month filled me with even more desire to travel. I just got back to Belém yesterday, and the road ahead seems somehow sweeter after the break. Also, I was resupplied very nicely through various Christmas gifts from the family. I am now well-equipped to realize my dream of floating down the Amazon. Not in a canoe (not this time...this is a test run for the canoe) but a raft.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to Itaituba to look for some balsa trees. Life has never been better...

-MN

[Succat]

 
 Welcome back . . .



Succat
  
  

[kabuki_mono]

[quote:f6bea0adf0="themodernnomad"] [...]I am now well-equipped to realize my dream of floating down the Amazon. Not in a canoe (not this time...this is a test run for the canoe) but a raft.[...]
-MN[/quote:f6bea0adf0]

Pure Huckleberry Finn style!!

Any thoughts about going back to your home country after so long on the road in various different places? (friends and family aside of course)

Stay safe and Enjoy the road

[b:f6bea0adf0]Km[/b:f6bea0adf0]