by Lightfoot » October 27th, 2008, 11:00 am
[quote:e6b23ef34d="Ennahtebazile"] Men and women both like to see, deal with, and pick up women who look good, and this applies to bar pick-ups just as much as it does to ride pick-ups.[/quote:e6b23ef34d]
Probably not the best analogy, bar pickups and ride pickups. In fact, it's a terrible analogy. You used the word "cute" four times in your post--am not sure that's the right adjective when it comes to hitching appearances. It's extremely doubtful most hitchers--male or female--want rides stopping for them because they're "cute".
It's hard to just let your comments stand unchallenged, Ennahtebazile. We get a lot of newbies on here who don't even know the names of states they plan to hitch through. Digihitch has to show some modicum of responsibility when it comes to topics like this and posts like yours. Your comments aren't going to matter to 25-year-old women who know what's going on; they are going to negatively affect 15-year-old high school girls who believe their looks are all that matters. That is irresponsible.
While there are undoubtedly many male drivers that can make the distinction between picking up a cute, "hott" looking girl at a bar and a similarly dressed female standing alongside a highway, I am sure there are millions who cannot. Blaming rape victims for their rape because of the way they were dressed is a horribly Neanderthal way of thinking, but there are millions of male drivers who may not be as progressive as you or me when it comes to their own way of thinking. If you assume otherwise, and you let your cuteness, attractiveness, and "hottness" do the talking, I think that ratchets up the possibility for that ride to be disastrous.
It is true that "sex sells", but by not toning down that aspect and at least trying to portray yourself as a person who needs a ride rather than a cute girl who has obviously spent time to look the part ... I hope other females will avoid thinking that their "hottness" is a practical part of the equation when it comes to hitching. As soon as you believe that aspect is necessary, something will probably happen that will make you regret that you incorporated your looks into the mix.
Few females (or guys) who hitch would want the conversation with a ride to start off with a comment about how hot they look. What you are advocating seems to be a very misguided self-esteem boost. And of course, the man will be blamed if he reads the signals wrong. You weren't all dolled up seeking any sort of validation, you were just seeking a ride. That man is guilty, your honor! Tell me that scenario never happens.
Unless you're looking at hitching as being one big sexual roller-coaster ride, it's best to look at all rides as "theoretical creeps" and avoid looking like you're wanting to be picked up at the bar. Leave the Lotharios at the bar to chase their conquests, not when you're out there hitching unless that's part of your game plan as well.
Society ain't never gonna be perfect. That's why we got brains. When in doubt, girls, go with your brain. Showing cleavage adds a risqué element that throws out the illusion that you're willing to concede control. That's totally insane.
In the meantime, disregard this comment and think about the comment below it, OK?
[quote:e6b23ef34d="Ennahtebazile"]
If I'm hitching by myself, my hair is down and weather permits the jacket is off and I make sure I am looking cute. Not prostitute cute (I am not suggesting a tight black leather mini-skirt, five inch heels, and a strappy lace top!), but cute enough, as in, way more cute than I'd bother with on any other particular day. If I were to wear loose sweat pants and zero cleavage, it would take me twice as long to get a ride! [/quote:e6b23ef34d]
What's the difference if you look hot (not prostitute hot) and it takes you 17 seconds to score a ride, or you're dressed like a female with common sense and it takes you 34 seconds?
Kinga Freespirit could have probably glommed herself up in a way that no vehicle on the planet would have ever passed her by. Instead, she used her confidence to hitch successfully without accentuating her looks. An impish smile can go a long way. We can learn a lot from Kinga. Maybe not so much from you, Ennahtebazile.
But beyond that, I'm not really sure. I'm a male, but perhaps females might want an answer to this question, too. The way I figure it, a buck or two spent at a GoodWill or other thrift store might go a long way towards making the trip go better. Is it better to wear "nice" clothes? Or might that encourage people to try to take advantage of you (driving off with gear, etc.)? Or is it better to wear things that might get people to take pity? I'll toss out a couple examples.
