Road Team members and Moderators replying to novices

[Salman]

digihitch.com often gets a lot of excited new members to the website after showing up in big media (newspapers, radio shows, magazines) or when something in pop culture mentions hitchhiking and people start to google it.

This has especially been true since the movie INTO THE WILD came out in September 2007. Young people who normally wouldn't give hitchhiking a second thought are coming to the website and considering doing their own trip.

PLEASE REMEMBER... the best way to serve people as a Road Team Member or Moderator is [b:3ab7ae9e31]NOT[/b] always to say YES YOU CAN. You DO NOT KNOW the intimate details of a internet user's life. Often you won't know the person's age, real gender, living situation, history of abuse or emotional maturity, etc. Sometimes you will THINK YOU DO, but it is a trivial thing to some users to lie or stretch the truth to get the type of answer they want... or simply to be admired or respected.

For this reason, avoid blindly motivating new users to hit the road. The purpose of digihitch is to create community and encourage those who have ALREADY CHOSEN hitchhiking, not to "win over" those who are in doubt. Let an internet user come to their own conclusions about hitchhiking from their family, real-life friends, reading, media watching, and everything else in their life.

THIS IS IMPORTANT:

DIGIHITCH.com IS NOT REAL LIFE. IT IS NOT THE ROAD. WORDS AND IMAGES ARE ONLY THAT, facsimiles of ideas and experiences.

Yes, we are real. Yes, we try to speak truth. Yes, we represent the act of hitchhiking and exploration as best we can. But in the end it is ONLY THAT: a REPRESENTATION.

If anything, we as Road Team members and Moderators should ERR ON THE SIDE OF SAFETY when it comes to sharing information and tips. Mostly for these reasons:

1. digihitch.com is NOT REAL LIFE. The road is real but this is not the road. MANY THINGS IN LIFE ARE BEST SAID IN THE RIGHT TIME, WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, IN THE RIGHT PLACE, FACE-TO-FACE, IN REAL LIFE.
Therefore, encourage people to TALK TO REAL, LIVE PEOPLE for advice. Fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, best friends, best friend's fathers, best friend's uncles, priests, that close friend of [insert name here] who backpacked around the country, or around the world... whoever the person thinks may have some life experience, and whose opinions and actions are respected.

2. You DO NOT TRULY KNOW the person you are talking to. You DO NOT TRULY KNOW the person's life experiences, maturity level, etc. Even if you think you know, you DO NOT TRULY KNOW. Therefore, point out that hitchhiking is not for everyone. If in doubt, talk to people you know and trust about it. If still in doubt, don't go.

3. A person whose heart, soul and body is ready to hit the road WILL HIT THE ROAD NO MATTER WHAT. Why would you try to push someone who-- through their extremely detailed questions or doubt-driven hypothesis on this website-- proves themselves not ready. (Yes, detailed questions are a sign that a person needs assurance, but assurance is best given by someone ACTUALLY KNOWN and PERSONALLY TRUSTED.) Sure, tell people what you did, but don't say, "GO ANYWAY. TRUST ME." Trusting you may not be the best thing for this person.
I went on my own despite warnings. Many of us veteran hitchhikers on digihitch did the same thing. "Virtual Advice" was not an option, and when it comes to a first-time decision to hit the road, advice from a stranger (even a friendly, virtual stranger with a detailed user profile) is not the most reliable. There comes a point when a person must push through to find a personal truth. Don't try to be that person's personal truth. Do not say go.

4. Even though digihitch.com is NOT REAL LIFE, we have to consider that some people will sadly think it is. They will smear their drama throughout the website. They will try to get as many people as possible to root for them, think of them as cool, become admired - or even hated. For some, it's simply the attention that matters. They may go nowhere and tell people they have. They may say the big trip is coming and "I need as much help as you can give me as fast as possible!" but their whim fades. Some will go to the road who have ABSOLUTELY NO ABILITY TO FACE SUCH A REALITY. Maybe they went to prove something, or to passively commit suicide, or to fulfill some movie/song/book fantasy, or to get lost and fade, or whatever other reason there is that can lead to severe damage out of carelessness.
DO NOT BE THE PERSON WHO SAID "GO" WHEN YOU DON'T TRULY KNOW IF GOING TO THE ROAD WAS THIS PERSON'S BEST POSSIBLE REALITY.

* * * * * * * * * *

I love you guys, and the effort and passion you put into digihitch.com. I'm humbled knowing that some of you have seen the work I put in, and the honesty I work to share, and as a result are motivated to channel yourself through digihitch. It's truly awesome!

But, please, stop and think when you are posting a reply to a new user -- or even a longtime digihitcher. Be mindful. Be respectful. Create community. And remember that every community is like a fishing net. There are spaces between the ropes or strings through which some folks should simply slip through. We don't need everyone, but all who appreciate and respect others will be welcomed.

(And those who don't appreciate and respect, no need to retaliate... just let them slip through -or tell me if they need to be physically removed and cast back in the virtual sea/)

[Raus]

Amen. Thanks for putting this into words.

[walkoflife]

I am glad this was put into perspective as well. As often as time permits, I will sit down and put together FYI's and mentor new travelers. I love everyone here as well, and want to be able to contribute 110% of my effort in the growth and development of this site.

[pokravenz]

well said salman. ithink that i have learned some thing from this post. thank you.


pok

[Fruupp]

"Speaking words of wisdom" [b:19edb6fa72]"Let it Be"[/b:19edb6fa72]

Lennon/McCartney

[Raven_1019]

I totally agree with you Salman. Fruupp very wise words. As I travel and know Pok very well I know that he has a good heart and means the best. walkoflife I am glad to hear what you have said I wish that there were more people like you. Raus I totally agree. As for myself I have tried to help people and hope that they think about what I have said and ask there friends/family before they do take a trip down the road to unknown places for it is not always "fun" there are many things out there that could possibly hurt you such as people and etc. Salman again thank you for your wise words. Raven

[Lightfoot]

Not everyone is cut out to hitch. The digihitch philosophy cannot be grab-and-take-all-you-can-see-you-later-fool. We are all wonderful people but we cannot think people are blessed by our mere interacting with them. It takes more than that. When it comes to the inquiries people interested in hitching make on here, one size cannot fit all when it comes to responses. Just because someone has made a large number of posts in a relatively short time, it does not automatically qualify them as an expert on anything. All my posts do not make me an expert. If you have a question you'd like to ask about potentially being a hitcher, it's probably best to PM a contributor or two or three and compare their responses. If it's not what you want to hear, don't come back on here and whine about it and try to get on someone else's bandwagon. Salman's right about finding the people closest to you for guidance. Sometimes people want you to join their bandwagon as a way to validate themselves or their lifestyle. That's self-serving and not what trying to help others should be about. We can't be in the business of egging people on, especially those with bona fide real problems that they're fleeing from.

[bassdrumben]

I've been giving a hitchhiking seminar down here for the past three seasons, and I would guess that maybe 50%-75% of the attendees are/were hitchhikers themselves. Many of the others come for the entertainment of it, because they are curious of how we hitchhikers live, or because they want to stretch their travel buck. It's those who want to stretch their buck that I direct my talk to, because they are often naiive to the ways of the road. I give them the a window into the reality of putting themselves at the mercy of fellow human beings, and how wonderful or detrimental that can be. The majority of us have had very positve experiences most of the time, enough to encourage others to explore what we are so passionate about. However, we have had enough experience to realize that the bad experiences are few and far between and can be avoided to a certain degree, and those bad experiences don't cast a big enough shadow to make hitchhiking "not worth the risk". I encourage first-time hitchers to go with a friend, do a short run between two familiar places, check in with people at home rfequently. I don't expect everyone to follow my advice, but if they at least have some of what I've explained in the back of their head, it should help. But if they have bad experiences at the beginning of their time hitchhiking, it can be almost impossible to recover from. Luckily I had many, many good experiences before anything resembling bad ever happened, and by the time something seriously nerve-rattling came around I had enough time on the road to know it was an exception, not the rule, and I could deal with it without freaking out.

You HAVE to assume that those who appear to know very little know nothing at all, and treat them as such, respectfully. In turn I would hope that those who are inexperienced will take what we say to them respectfully and understand that we mean the best. You have to be sincere, you have to be respectful, you have to be honest.

Plenty of people approach me that are thinking about hitchhiking but aren't sure if they should do it or not. I have told a few of them flat out no, they shouldn't. They'll do themselves much more harm than good. Others I tell to go with a friend, etc. as I mentioned before. Only those who have proven to me that they are capable of fending for themselves in difficult situations, can talk their way out of a bad ride, can deal with the police, and can put a positive spin on life, do I say "Yes, you would make a great hitchhiker."

The seminars have taught me a lot about how to approach the subject of hitchhiking with sparkies and what kind of people think they should try it. We experienced hitchhikers cannot endorse hitchhiking blindly, it is our responsibility to put forth the context and disclamers that are inherent to our lifestyle. We run the risk of misleading people if we don't.

[Raven_1019]

Besides totally agreeing with Salman I just have one more thing to say. I think that us as Mods, Road Team Members and such in such have a certain responsibility around here and that is to not DISRESPECT anyone. Yes we can tell people in such in such words that you don't think that the person is ready but, you shouldn't go and ridicule other people. For that is not what we are here for. So if you feel tired or frustrated with someone on here then you should wait awhile before you go and say something that you might later regret. But, hey that is just my opinion and I think that my opinion is worth something. Raven

[RangerChris]

Long ago I read this topic and took it to heart. In the last year there has been an influx of sparkies to the site looking for advice with questionable motives and Ive grown tired of wading through their questions at times. Thinking back to this I re-read it, that was all I needed to remind me why its so important. Salman, you are gone but not forgotten.